Another day

Chemo not so bad after all...

2011-10-14T18:32:00.003-06:00

So I had my second surgery and everything went well. Thanks for the prayers everyone!

The beginning of October I had my first chemo treatment. So far I haven't had any side effects which is awesome! I didn't even need to take any anti-nausea medication. The only issue I had was that I got really itchy a few days after, but I can deal with that. I actually feel really normal. Apparently my hair isn't supposed to go until a week or so from now, so I'm still waiting on that front.

It's kind of funny in a way because I had assumed I would be horribly ill from it (and some people do get bad side effects), but I don't feel any different. The babe seems to be doing fine also and is constantly wiggling around which is good.

The only sucky thing so far is that, because the chemo decimates your immune system, I'm confined at home with very few visitors. Because I'm pregnant, I have to be extra careful not to get sick. I have to check my temperature twice a day to make sure I'm not getting a fever or infection.

So far it's not so bad, but I really miss going to class.

I'm excited though because we get to move next week! We bought our first house and we get the keys this coming Friday! I'm totally stoked!

We have been saving for a house for what seems like forever and were going to buy one but then I got my diagnosis. At first, we thought we should wait until this was all over, but we decided to go through with it anyway. You can't put your life on hold because of what-ifs or because your scared or sick. You need to do fun, exciting, normal things to keep yourself happy. I think if we would have waited, it would be like accepting defeat. I'm glad we didn't because I think it's going to be great to have our own place, especially now that we have a babe on the way.

I have my next chemo the end of this month. Hopefully I continue to be blessed with few side-effects. Since I'm stuck at home I'll probably be blogging more though ha ha!

Surgery Boo!

2011-08-22T15:56:00.002-06:00

So it turns out I have to have another surgery. I guess after my lymph nodes were more closely examined, they had a tiny bit of cancer so now I have to go have a bunch of lymph nodes removed.

Needless to say I'm not looking forward to it. At first, I was kind of mad that they missed it the first time, but now I've come to the point that I just want to get it over with. I think the babe should be ok. I'll be in the fifth month by my surgery so they said it should't be affected. I'm still kind of worried but I've been trying not to think about it.

I met with my oncologist and she seems nice. I start chemo October 5th. I get a month off for the babe to be born and then I need more treatments after that. I found out too that although my treatments should be finished by May at the latest, I'll have to take special medicine for five years after! The only thing that sucks about that is that you can't have kids while you are taking it, so we're going to be a one-child family for a while.

On the plus side, we went to Jasper this past weekend. It was nice to get away and see the sites. The weather was great and we had a lot of fun. It is definitely harder hiking when you're pregnant though!

Good news bad news...

2011-08-09T17:10:00.003-06:00

A lot has happened in the last few months of my life. At first I wasn't going to blog about it, preferring to deal with things privately, but as I've thought about it I think the benefits of talking about my ongoing issues outweigh privacy concerns.

First, the good news...

We are now expecting our first child and I am already four months along. We are both very exited about this and it is a total blessing.

But this has been overshadowed somewhat by the bad news...

Turns out I have breast cancer too. I've been leaning away from telling a lot of people, but as I said, there are benefits to talking about it. First, I'm hoping that by talking about my journey, I will raise awareness about this for others in the school. I was 26 when my cancer started (I've now turned 27) and I have no family history of breast cancer. It's important that everyone (including men) are vigilant about self examinations and I want to encourage people (no matter your age or history) to pay attention to his or her body.

Secondly, I'm sure it would be apparent something was up when I show up to classes without hair (during my chemotherapy) so this way I can tell everyone and hopefully avoid the "what's with the Master Brinker hair cut?" questions.

Everyone has been asking me how I found out I had cancer. I've had a cyst in my right breast since I was 17 which would come and go with my monthly cycle. This cyst was affected by birth control pills and began to become permanent when I was 20. I would get it regularly checked by a doctor every so often, but because of my age and lack of family history, none of them seemed worried. When I became pregnant, it began to swell and bleed and I was sent for an ultrasound and biopsy. These results showed that it seemed to be cancerous. My surgeon thinks that the cancer developed recently beside this cyst, influenced by my pregnancy and the hormones produced and that my cancer is only 4 or 5 months old.

I learned a couple of things from this:

1) If something seems wrong/weird, make sure you keep and eye on it and get it checked.

2)Seemingly innocent things (like cysts) can change, so getting something checked once isn't good enough. It needs to be monitored as changes occur.

3)Different doctor's give different answers. Many of the doctor's I saw at the medi-clinic would feel my lump but assure me that it "didn't feel like cancer" and "I was too young anyway". My last two doctor's were the ones who actually ordered tests (ultrasound and biopsy) and found out what was going on. Granted, my cyst was not cancerous for a long time, but without the tests I had the cancer wouldn't have been found.

4)If something is bothering you about your body, do not let yourself be brushed off by statistics (age, sex, etc) or other assumptions your doctor may make. It's up to you to be persistent and find the right doctor.

So, once it was determined I had cancer I was sent to a surgeon. Normal treatment for breast cancer (depending on the stage) usually consists of a lumpectomy and radiation therapy. Because I'm pregnant, however, I was required to have a mastectomy as radiation therapy is harmful to fetuses. My surgery was successful and (according to the biopsy during surgery), my cancer has not spread to any lymph nodes (and therefore anywhere else). I find out the official pathology this week.

I can't start chemo until the babe is at least 21 weeks old, so that won't begin until October or so. I'm not sure yet the length of time my therapy will be (it can range between 3 and 6 months) and, depending on the pathology results, I might have to have radiation after the baby is born.

As to why I got cancer, that's more difficult to answer.

Although influenced by my pregnancy, pregnancy does not cause cancer. My surgeon told me that no one knows the cause and this is just an unfortunate accident of nature.

For me, I think it has been a blessing in disguise - God's way of telling me to slow down a little bit. I was living a high stress lifestyle: grad school, Kung-Fu, church activities, etc. It was rare that I sat around and did nothing.

Having cancer has allowed me to take a leave from school, give up my extra activities and focus on me. I have become more relaxed and (in a strange way) I feel more healthy. I'm no longer worried about silly things like dead-lines or conferences or planning activities. I am now more aware of things that make me happy, my family, my faith, my Kung-Fu. Having cancer is freeing in a strange way.

Lord willing, a year from now all this will be behind me and I will be focusing on enjoying my baby. I hope I remember what's important and to relax. The world has a way of swallowing you up when you forget how precious life is.

So, I will be journalling about my journey as I go along. I hope it will help some people understand breast cancer a little better and be more aware that it's out there. To give you an idea of how traditional stereotypes about cancer are misleading (older women get it), the week I visited my surgeon, four other girls younger than me were also met with and my surgeons have had seven patients under 30 this year!

Been a while

2011-03-07T15:24:00.002-07:00

So I haven't blogged in quite some time now. To be honest, I hate blogging and I stopped after UBBT. Lately, however, I've come to the realization that blogging has it's uses. I've always heard it said that blogging/journaling is great for motivational purposes, but to be honest, I never really bought into it. After reading Sihing Lindstrom's blog (or more accuratly reading the impact it had on others), I began to see the light (so-to-speak).
I want to be able to look back later and read about all of the struggles I overcame, all the places I visited, all of the things I learned. My blogging gap represents a knowledge gap...a gap in records that I think is significant.
Lets see if I can do a little better record keeping in the future.

Ego-less training

2010-03-10T12:14:00.003-07:00

I've been noticing, in the last couple of weeks since my promotion to second degree, a problem begining to arise in my training.

It's very apparent to me, especially when I teach. My ego is starting to rear its head in the back of my head and that's not good.

Now I don't consider myself to be necessarily full of myself, but a small voice has been sounding in my mind saying "Well I'm a second degree now, so I know everything!"

I need to get a grasp on that.

My rational mind knows it's not true, but there is still that part of me that secretly wants to sit on a special chair and wear a big hat.

Even though I didn't morph into a magical martial arts goddess when I put my stripes on, I'm finding it hard to come back down to humble reality. That's part of the pitfalls of promotion I guess...becoming too big for your uniform.

I still have a lot to learn. A LOT to learn and I need to keep that in mind.

Ego-less training is important, otherwise you miss opportunities to learn and I don't want that to happen.

Guess I need to take a second and eat some humble pie....time enough later for the special chair and big hat!

Have five minutes...

2010-02-19T11:34:00.002-07:00

So I have a spare five minutes to blog...

It's been a crazy busy couple of weeks (is it ever not so?). Right now I'm waiting on some samples in an oven. We ground up some rock, added some sodium peroxide and set the samples to bake. Kinda cool.....

Another girl and I are training how to digest our samples for microprobe analysis. By dissolving the rock in acid and sending it through the microprobe, you can get information on the specific chemical make up of the rock and trace chemical changes through time. This is useful when your trying to figure out the paleoclimate/paleogeography/sea level etc. of your study area.

Down side:

Takes at least 5 hours to prepare 11 samples....sucky!

Oh well....back to the grindstone (pardon the pun:)

Not the best start...

2010-01-21T13:21:00.002-07:00

So, the new year has started and, although not in the UBBT again this year, I made a list of fitness goals on PHYSOUT for myself. I have to say though, that I am not doing as well on them as I did last year. In a way, I'm glad because that means I've made them more challenging, but the fact remains I need to get my butt in gear.

So I was all stoked to play catch up and pushed myself on Tues and injured myself. I hurt my back doing knuckle pushups so I had to take yesterday off working out and have been hobbling around the house ever since. Pretty pathetic!

This year is not starting out how I had planned! Bah!

It's hard when I know I'm falling farther and farther behind on my goals, but I know if I push too hard, it will set me back farther. Ah patience and progressing wisely....it's a fine line that's for sure!

Grad school is sssssooooo fun! I get to sit all day in my own office (that I share with two other guys, but still total awesomeness) and read about the coolest stuff! Right now I'm reading a paper on the Permian-Triassic (about 251 million years ago) mass extinction during which they think over 90% of all Earth's species went extinct. I suggest you google it if you haven't heard of it...pretty amazing. The formation I'm going to be working on is from this time period.

Ok so some of you (probably most) don't find that to be fantastically interesting but still....

I'm really enjoying it so far.

So ya, ups and downs...that's how life goes I guess eh?

End of the year....and the ubbt

2009-12-23T11:03:00.002-07:00

So I have to admit, I've been done exams for almost 2 weeks now and I have not been blogging. Funny how you can keep putting things off and time just slips by.

The Ubbt is coming to an end for me quickly and I'm kind of sad in a way. The Ubbt experience has done a lot of good for me. It taught me to hold myself acountable for my goals and progress and I've accomplished things I didn't think were possible.

I can now do 50 pushups without batting an eye, something I would have thought impossible, especially with my back issues. That, for me, is a major accomplishment.

The Ubbt also helped my leadership skills. I ran my leadership seminar as well as the kwoon renovations. I learned alot about organisation and running something. They definatly were learning experiences!

I also managed to accomplish my goal of getting into grad school. I'm so happy it worked out!

I practiced my fan form and tested for second degree as well. Check and check on my list...

However, I didn't manage to get everything done that I wanted to.

My 1000 reps of Kempo....not even close, and that was an important one. And I can't do the splits...once again, not even close:)

But the ubbt has taught me how to set goals and accomplish them, it has introduced me to people all over the world and most of all, has given me an excuse to train.

So although this year I'm not participating again, I have a list of goals to get done...including tackling Kempo!

Thanks Sifu Brinker and ubbt guys! You made this year awesome!

Swamped...as usual:)

2009-11-24T17:05:00.001-07:00

In final exams....

Always manage to sneak up on me somehow:)

Brain hurts...feels kinda gushy....

Whew! What a last couple of weeks!

2009-11-10T17:45:00.003-07:00

What a stressfull last couple of weeks! I had 4 midterms in four days, had to do a 20 minute presentation to a geology class and my professor and hand in another presentation that I have to give in the coming week.

That first presentation was sssoooo stressful! I had to give a twenty minute power point presentation (including handouts and references) to a class of my peers, graduate students and my professor. My topic was the midcontinent rift that occured 1.1 billion years ago along Lake Superior. The biggest part of the stress was that (apart from being graded), my professor has been involved in most of the major studies in this area, so I really had to know my stuff.

I tried to take control of the situation and gave my friends questions to ask me ahead of time, so I could have answers prepaired. I think it paid off, because I managed to avoid a major grilling by my professor; those who presented before me and weren't asked any questions got asked tough ones by my professor...not fun!

I think it went ok, but I was shaking afterwards. I have to give another presentation this week in another class, but this one is only five minutes. I've been finding it hard to keep my focus for this last one after going full board for the last two weeks. I hope it goes ok. Public speaking is not easy!

So that's what I've been doing for the last couple of weeks...stressing out and practicing my public speaking.

I have to say, oddly enough my Kung-Fu came in handy. By taking control of my situation and trying to shape it to my advantage, I managed to make it through. Definatly a valuable lesson! No matter how out of control you feel, there is always something you can do to stack the odds in your favor.

Crazy how Kung-Fu applies everywhere eh?

Still alive...just in exams...

2009-10-22T09:37:00.003-06:00

So, I didn't blog last week, and missed it on Tuesday. But here I am.

It's that time of year again and I'm back in exams. Bah!

One day, when I'm a millionaire living in an Irish castle, I'll look back on these stressful times and laugh. Until then...back to the books I guess:)

Good luck candidates!

2009-10-06T16:16:00.003-06:00

I just wanted to say that I hope the black belt testing is going well for all the candidates.

I know it can be an incredibly grueling, exhausting and sometimes even disheartening process, but hang in there. I also found it to be one of the most worthwhile, rewarding things I've ever done and it was a priveledge to take part in.

Just remember, we're all behind you and if your ready, you'll make it.

For those of you who are not grading right now, but planning to in the future, it's important to realize that that day can come sooner than you think, so don't wait until your last year to up your training.

Once again, our thoughts are with you Sihings!

Sweet sweet coffee....

2009-09-29T17:01:00.004-06:00

Listening to celtic music on AOL radio right now...pretty cool stuff.

And trying to work on my biology assignment. Emphasis on trying:) Tuesdays are now my least faverite days of the week. I only have two classes on Tuesdays, but one is at 12:30, and the other isn't until 6pm. The break I have from 2-6 is just long enough I want to go home, but short enough that I have a hard time justifying the gas....

And my 6pm class doesn't end until 9pm! I tell you, whoever thought up that genius scheme was not a friend of mine! I like to refer to it as my weekly death march, but that's probably being over dramatic.

So ya, I'm sitting here, listening to celtic music, staring at my bio article and drinking coffee, trying not to fall asleep before the death march begins....

I don't know if I'm gonna make it...*gasp*....but hey, at least I have coffee! Sweet, sweet coffee:)

Physics is what killed Einstein...I'm sure of it!

2009-09-22T16:11:00.004-06:00

Totally not feeling the blogging vibe today. I just spent the last 4 hours or so doing physics and my brain feels like a pile of jello...

Mmmmmm.....jello.....

As I said, I'm not very focused right now:)

Stupid Physics eating away at my soul!

Oh well..maybe in the end I'll be better off for having done it. I better be:)

Happy Times

2009-09-15T15:47:00.004-06:00

So I'm feeling pretty good about life right now.

I got officially accepted into the faculty of graduate studies yesterday...so I'm now officially starting my Masters in January (assuming I graduate:) I'm so excited! A big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and now all those nights lying awake worrying about it don't seem to have mattered at all. I feel like I'm on the right path and I can't wait to get started. I consider this proof that prayer totally works! Thanks big guy!

My training is also coming along. I've started to devote more time and put in more effort and it feels great! I'm having such an awesome time helping out with the beginer class. Those guys are definatly a source of inspiration.

I'm still working part time scanning things on the micro-ct scanner for the fall and tomorrow I get to participate in a training seminar. I'll learn alot, I'm sure!

So ya...I'm pretty happy with my life right now. Everything seems to be falling into place after years of struggle and doubt. I hope it stays like this forever!

But if it doesn't that's ok, because I'm going to enjoy every minute of it and savour it. Then I'll have awesome memories for when I'm not feeling so motivated:)

Renos part 2

2009-09-09T08:15:00.002-06:00

So I was a little dissapointed by the turnout for the renos this week.

At first I was optomistic...people were showing up and working hard, but by the end of the week, we were down to just a couple people a shift.

Sifu Freitag, Sifu M. Playter and myself were at the kwoon until 10/11 at night on Sunday finishing up. I'm not complaining, I'm simply trying to point out that this year, we could have used more help.

I'm so thankful to those who did show up this week, it was great to see you guys out.

This week bothered me a little, because we have over 250 people at this school and only a handful (under 20), came to help out.

What does this say about us as a school? What does this say about us as people?

I understand this was a horrible week to have renos...kids back to school, last long weekend, etc., but sometimes that's the way it goes.

I think what really bothered me was that I always see posts on kwoon talk about challenges and bettering yourselves and becoming better people, but when everyone is provided with an opportunity to actually DO something...no one shows up.

Bettering yourself isn't always accomplished by reading a book or adding something new to your routine. Sometimes you get the most out of giving something for nothing...by humbling yourself and getting down on your hands and knees and scrubbing for hours because you know it needs to be done. You become a better person when you recognize a need and try to fill the void. It takes a lot to give up your Friday night movie night, or to come after a long days work, but it does build on your character.

The majority of the school missed out on a big opportunity this year. You guys had the chance to change something, to build something, to be a part of something...and you missed it.

One of my favorite memories this year was of Sifu Masterson's little boy standing on a pile of mats exclaiming how tall he was to us all....he is such a funny little kid. I'll also cherish the memories of all of us scrubbing the floors together. Nothing brings people together like the mutual hatred of dirt:)

So I hope next year more people will come and we can all build our character and memories together.

Renos!

2009-09-01T22:15:00.003-06:00

Renovations are off to a good start. I just got home after spending the day scrubbing the heck out of the floor. I like to think it looks alot better...but after awhile you can't tell anymore... A big thanks out to everyone who has been helping out! You guys are doing great.

I start classes tomorrow too. I'm excited. I like going to school, at least for the first couple of weeks:)

I'm also super stoked because I just found out I got accepted to grad school for January! I am having a hard time believing it's actually true, but it is! Ssssssoooooo awesome!!!!

This is going to be an awesome year, I just know it!

Not well...

2009-08-26T08:01:00.002-06:00

Not feeling well...hopefully better soon.

Argggggg.

Too weak....to.....type....more....:)

Managed to do pushups and situps though!

Thank Goodness for Good People

2009-08-18T13:57:00.002-06:00

So I have this ring. I love it to peices.

It's a fossil Ammonite mounted in steel and it's a beautiful honey brown. I got it in Jasper on our last trip and everytime I look at it I remember the fun we had there.

Anyway, yesterday I took it off to wash my hands in the sink. I set it on the edge of the sink, thinking I would put it back on after I dried my hands.

But I forgot.

I didn't remember until I was on my way to class last night. When I finally did remember, I started freaking out. Granted, my hysterics only lasted a couple of minutes until I realized, with my husband's help, that little could be done about it just then. It would have to wait until I went back into work the next morning. Then I could look for it.

I started to wonder why it bothered me so much. The money it had cost was one issue, but that did not seem to be the root cause. The idea of someone finding it and being over-joyed at their good fortune didn't really bother me either. I could live happily if I new someone else was loving it in my place. What really bothered me was the possibility I might see it on someone else's finger. Someone else having it, fine, but they'd better not let me see it...

I imagined the awkward situation it would be if I ran into someone with it. Would I say anything? Would it be my place to say anything? Would it really still be mine?

The concept of ownership can be fuzzy sometimes. Some people go by the adage, "Finders keepers..." while others do not. I'm finding it difficult to decide where I stand. Usually when I find something, I try to return it. But the thought of confronting someone with something I've lost made me question. What if they believe differently?

My dilema was solved as this morning when I found a post-it note on the bathroom mirror telling me where to come pick up my ring. Luckily for me, a nice lady had found it and believed that it should be returned. I have it on my finger as I'm typing and it's comforting to know that it's in my keeping again, at least until the good Lord decides otherwise.

I've always tried to live mylife according to the Christian concept of ownership, the idea that everything belongs to God and we're just temporary stewards. But this is easier thought than acted upon. Society places a lot of emphasis on ownership and it can be hard not to do the same. The idea of temporary stewardship is freeing in a way. I find having a lot of stuff can cloud the mind and thinking of it in a different way takes the load off I guess. I don't really know how to explain it.

This whole experience, although trivial in a way, has brought to my mind the importance I've placed on objects and things. I don't like the idea of objects holding emotional sway over me, but how do you disconnect memories from things? Will I forget if I get rid of the object? Are they a physical manifestation, a catalouge, of my memories? How can I free myself of this reliance on stuff if I'm afraid I'll forget?

Stuff to think about...

Road Rage=Push Ups

2009-08-11T11:14:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, on the way home from work, I had the worst episode of road rage ever. For me anyway.

Yesterday I picked someone up from work on Jasper ave. on my way home. The traffic was terrible. I really wanted to make it to class at 6:30, I had said I would be there.

I got to their work at 4:50pm, they were off at 5. I waited and waited, watched their coworkers leave, but still no passenger. They finally came out at 5:15 and I was aggravated. Didn't they know that I had places to be?!? Emotion took over and instead of realizing that they were just doing their job, not trying to ruin my life, I began to sink into a bad mood.

Traffic, as I said, was ridiculous. It was backed up for what seemed like ages and we didn't reach the edge of the city until 5:50. By this time I was livid.

I wasn't shouting, but I have to admit, I was muttering foul words under my breath and following the people in front of me a little too closely. Didn't they realize that I had places to be?!? Once again, I was acting on emotion, not taking into account that everyone, not just me, had places to be, people to see, things to do. Getting angry didn't help. That's for sure.

All it did was seem to compound the stress.

By the time I finally rushed home, grabbed my stuff and made it to class, I was mentally exhausted. It's hard work being angry. Thoughts of a bad day at work, bad traffic, bad luck were definitely clouding my mind.

That's when I dropped down, during the warm up, and began to pound out push ups. Man did it ever feel good! All of my pent up frustration was released and I used it to push myself onward. I managed to do 306 push ups and 306 sit ups. Not bad for an off day!

There's nothing like a good workout to unwind after a long day and I felt so much better! My mind cleared, my spirits lifted and I felt good. I slept pretty good last night too.

I figure if these bad days keep happening, I'm going to to be ripped! That's kinda cool:)

Aaaahhhhh....

2009-08-04T10:40:00.003-06:00

This weekend was really nice. After the demo (which went awesome!), we took off to Jasper for a night. It was so relaxing! We definatly needed to get away, even if it was only for a little while. The mountains were beautiful and the weather was great. I feel recharged and ready to go, although part of me wishes we were still hiding away in the mountains:)

Back to reality I guess!

I recomend a little escape for anyone who is feeling a little stretched and stressed out. It makes such a difference!

Plus, it makes for great memories (like seeing the mountainside lit up by a passing train at twilight-too cool!).

The beginer class is cool!

2009-07-28T11:01:00.004-06:00

I spent this morning scanning another slice of meteorite and teaching a grad student how to use the x-ray machine. It's probably going to take all week to get him up to speed but that's OK.

Last night I got to help out with the beginner class again and it was awesome! It's so motivating to see the students in that class because they all try so hard and everything is new to them.

Sometimes it's easy to forget how exciting it was, and overwhelming, when I first started training. There seemed like an infinite amount of information and it was all so fresh and new.

I guess it's the same for the grad student I helped today.

He was so excited and thought the machine was so cool; he had trouble with the simplest task. But I have to remember, not that long ago (2 or 3 weeks) I was in the same boat and I had to be taught.

Kung-Fu is the same. That's why the beginner class is so awesome. You get a glimpse of the excitement in the students, that sense of awe that we sometimes forget.

Everyone in that class has a good attitude and try really hard. That's inspiring.

It's hard not to be inspired to do your push-ups when you see the students giving it their all in class, struggling to do their push-ups but doing them anyway.

Thanks Sifu Shipaleski for the opportunity, it was really awesome!

And thanks to the beginner class for being so darn cool!

Teaching is the great motivator

2009-07-21T14:14:00.003-06:00

I'm really excited about my training right now. I've started going to more classes during the week and it's really boosted my drive to train. I find teaching is a great motivater to practice as it makes you aware of common mistakes and you always have to be ready to demonstrate.

Lately, I've been finding that Kung-Fu has been on my mind a lot. I get up, go to work, train and go to bed. That's been my life for the past couple of weeks and it's been awesome. When I go to bed at night I feel as though I've accomplished something in my day, not just watched T.V.

I'm now so excited to work on my forms. Teaching has given me the motivation to go beyond my everyday standards. How can I ask a student to fix mistakes if I'm not doing the same?

I guess what it comes down to is accountability. If I don't practice and improve, the student's will notice and respect for my skills will suffer. My reputation is on the line.

I think that's pretty cool.

Total Awesomness...I think

2009-07-14T10:07:00.003-06:00

I had a pretty exciting day yesterday. Well, exciting for me anyway...

I started to get trained on the x-ray scanner at work. It allows you to scan small objects a few centimeters in size and created a 3-D image. I think it's so cool!

My husband on the other hand, although happy I was happy, was not as excited as I was at the thought of all the limitless scanning possibilities (rocks, shells...maybe a small action figure:).

Our first lesson was to scan a shell and create a 3-D model of the borings within it that had been made by crustaceans. I thought this was total awesomeness and I gushed about it to Mike when I got home, but to my chagrin, he forced a smile, said the old, "That's nice dear..." and tried not to yawn. I was shocked! The utmost in coolness was occuring and my significant other was not excited.

I thought maybe he was just overwhelmed by the idea and needed a few minute details so I began to regale him with stories of scanning the shell, how it was so funny when we almost positioned it the wrong way...I chuckled to myself and noticed that Mike was not chuckling, or even smiling anymore. The yawn was starting to escape his mouth...

I came to realize that the utmost in coolness for me, was not the utmost in coolness for Mike. I guess that's alright. Funny how people's taste's can differ so. Although I have to admit, if we liked ALL the same things, life would be pretty mundane. It's nice to be exposed to new things and new points of view.

Although I still think it would be totally awesome to scan a Darth Vadar action figure! Mwhahahahahaha:)

Fond memories and farewells

2009-07-07T08:33:00.002-06:00

Right now I'm sitting at work in the lab looking out at the rain. This week has been busy so far. I got rear-ended over the weekend so I've been dealing with car repairs and injuries. I'm lucky so far in that I don't think I was injured too badly and I was able to resume my work out regime last night.

Also, this past week my Great Grandpa (also my Godfather) passed away. What upset me most about his passing was that, for the longest time now my sister and I had been talking about taking my Great Grandparents out to lunch to their favorite restaurant (Arbie's). We put it off and put it off, always planning to do it, but now it's too late.

I've always been somewhat of a procrastinator, but this was a real let down. I've always been of the mindset that it's never too late, you can always figure something out, but not with something like this. Death has a certain finality about it that just doesn't budge. There is no fudge factor or elbow room; when it's your time, it's your time.

I wish I had taken the opportunity to see him more. I guess all I can do is learn from this and try to not let it happen again. But are we ever really ready to let someone go? Maybe, I don't know.

For now I'll just spend some time looking at old photos and reminiscing. There's always time later for deep thinking...at least I like to think so.

Get 'er done!

2009-06-30T09:39:00.003-06:00

This week has been a real struggle to get my push-ups, sit-ups and form reps in. Last night was the third night I was up until 1 or 2am pumping them out before I went to bed.

I don't know why, but I always end up leaving them until the last possible minute. To be honest, I don't like doing them, but I make myself everyday (or should I say night). It's really invigorating to fall into bed absolutly exhausted knowing you did it, you got those things done. Like Sifu Brinker was saying this week, you can have a horrible, aweful day but you get down and do your push-ups at the end of it and the world seems right again. No matter what happens, I can always count on those push-ups and sit-ups and form reps to pull me through.

That's a crazy thought.

When I was away doing fieldwork, I didn't do them. I told myself that I was too exhausted from the days hiking and a tent was no place to work out in...

Man do I regret that! Those are days lost that I will never get back. I had the opportunity to push myself beyond my everyday routine and I blew it.

Not doing them didn't help. I didn't get that daily ego boost I need and I noticed the difference. The hiking was that much harder the next day because I had already told myself that it was too much for me. By not doing my workout at the end of the day, I had admitted defeat, awknowledged that it was too difficult. I let myself down big time.

I've come to find, through this whole UBBT experience, that the workout itself isn't the point.The physical improvement is just a bonus.

The real value is in learning to keep promises to yourself, to be able to set goals, unbelievable goals, and get them done.

This week's workouts have been tough, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.

As a wise man once said...

"Don't take no @#$*# from no push-ups!"

Kung-Fu is awesome!

2009-06-23T12:32:00.003-06:00

Well I'm back from Jasper finally.

I just spent about five days there conducting fieldwork on the Mount Head Formation by Talbot Lake and Mount Greenock. We took photos, measured the rock and took lots of notes.

Now comes the hard part of putting it all together to make a paper.

I really enjoyed being outside, although the hiking was pretty fierce, but I'm glad to be back.

Lately, I've been getting an itch to go to more Kung-Fu classes. After spending time sitting in front of a computer all day (excluding the field work) I'm finding I'm craving more activity. I'm hoping to make it to the beginer class, it's always super motivating, but I probably won't be home in time.

I can't wait!

Kung-Fu is awesome!

Anti-wasters unite! Better yet, stay home and save the gas...

2009-06-09T07:51:00.004-06:00

I've always hated terms like "environmentalist" and "activist." For me, those are loaded terms that carry with them issues of wealth, nationality and education.

I have met many "environmentalists" and "activists" during my university career and, although I can't vouch for all of them, many I found were idealistic because it was the new fad and they could afford to be; it isn't difficult to attend a weekend protest when you don't have a job to go to. It's easy to drive an environmentally friendly car when you have the resources (or if your parents have the resources) to do so. It's harder to use less water when no one is watching, hard to pack a lunch or wear a sweater and turn the thermostat down.

The environmentalist movement, for me, has become one associated with status and wealth. It has now become the "in" thing to go green and you see ads representing this trend (e.g.. car commercials, etc).

This trend bothers me because, although on the surface environmentalism can be a relatively easy band wagon to join (start recycling for example), I think many people are missing the point. People aren't thinking of why and if they are, it's the wrong why.

Thus, I have decided to label myself as an "anti-waster."

This term for me embodies what environmentalism is meant to encompass, but without the baggage. I'm a firm believer in doing the best you can with what you have. I think true environmentalism takes thought and commitment. It shouldn't be as easy as buying the organic fruit in the supermarket. People should be gardening, taking shorter showers, reusing their sandwich bags, using a travel mug etc.

It's the little activities done in the background that ad up and make a difference, not the big, public things.

I want people to think about what they're doing and why. Everything you do, how you live, how you define yourself should be because you know it's right and have figured out WHY it's right.

You shouldn't define yourself based on the opinions of others or in search of self gratification.

I guess in short my whole point is that you shouldn't be an environmentalist because you want to feel good about yourself or because you want to be trendy. It shouldn't be about showing off to others or getting pats on the back for recycling.

I think everyone should be an ant-waster because it makes sense. You shouldn't leave the light on because it wastes power and costs someone time, effort and money and uses up resources for no reason.

So be an ant-waster, but be one for the right reasons...

Leadership

2009-06-02T00:01:00.002-06:00

As one of my projects for the UBBT, I have been running a leadership seminar this past month. This week is the final evening.
Every week, a different speaker has been giving a lecture on a different aspect of leadership. The first week Sifu Brinker spoke about public speaking. The second week was myself, with a presentation on how to find reliable information and the importance of being knowledgeable. Then, Sifu Playter discussed organization and discipline and how to successfully acheive a goal. Lastly, sifu Frietag spoke about how to effectivly teach.
Throughout this whole four week journey, the participants have had an assignment. They are required to make a presentation to the group about a project they have done or something they believe in. These presentations are due this Thursday. After the seminar, they are required within the next three months to successfully teach one technique in a class and publically promote their cause.

The goal of this entire endeaver has been to give students the tools needed to promote a cause. You can believe in something all you want, but if you don't know how to successfully promote it, you'll be believing it all by yourself.

I don't know how successful this seminar has been but I hope the participants have found it helpful and worthwhile. I myself have learned quite a lot from the presentations and I'm really excited to see what the students produce. My hope is that they carry this forward and pursue what they think is important. Now is the best time to start.

Thanks to everyone who has helped make this happen...it's been a lot of fun!

Speedballin'...

2009-05-25T09:37:00.003-06:00

I was driving to work this morning and a song came on the radio. It was "Bleed it out" by Linken Park. As I was driving and listening to the song, I got really pumped (it's a pretty up-beat kind of tune) and all I could think about was, "I gotta pull over and do some Kung-Fu!"

I didn't pull over, it would have been unsafe and probably irresponsible, but I really, really wanted to break out my spear...

The right music can definatly get you going. "Speedballin'" by Outcast is my favorite one for eskrima sticks and every time I hear it I wanna grab them.
When Mike and I listen to the radio, we often find ourselves judging the quality of the song by whether or not it would be good for a weapons form. Metallica is a good source for this kind of thing. I love practicing to good music; I can feed off the energy it generates and it makes for a really good time. Music has a way of lighting up your soul, and soul is what you need to do good Kung-Fu.

Now I really want to blast "Speedballin'" and whip my eskrimas around...

Good habits are easy to kill and hard to start

2009-05-22T09:30:00.003-06:00

Last night at the leadership seminar, Sifu Playter did a talk on organization, dedication and discipline. I found it really inspiring. I really needed some encouragement for my UBBT requirements. Lately I've been finding it extra hard to get my push ups and situps done.

I was doing great until I went off to field school and stopped doing my workouts every night. Spending all day hiking up cliffs and pushing through bush then spending the evenings doing assignments really drains a person. I didn't think it would be a big deal to miss a few.

Since I've returned, I've had a hard go of it when it comes to getting my workouts done. The habits I had taken months to build, didn't take long to get disrupted and now I need to push myself to get it done.

Things are improving, but why did I stop???

Lesson to be learned... it is easier just to do it than leave it for later; then it is twice as hard.

Can't wait for data...

2009-05-15T11:54:00.002-06:00

So bored...

I'm at work with nothing to do. I've been finding and reading papers all day about chert; trying to keep myself busy until I get another assignment.

I'm excited about going out to Jasper for a week. I'm going in June to get some data on the Mount Head Formation by Talbot Lake and Mount Greenock. It should be pretty fun. After I have some data, I'll actually be able to do some work, not just research all day.

I can't wait!

2009-04-13T21:52:00.002-06:00

Not feeling well at all. The cold has come back with a vengence. Not good. Exam on Wed. Need sleep...

Nothing to write about?

2009-04-12T22:09:00.003-06:00

I'm finding it hard to find something to write about.
Normally, I would just not bother writing, but because of the challenge I'm having with my brother I can't (unless I want to lose), not to mention the UBBT.
This is partly why I previously wrote very rarely. Always in my mind was the idea that others would be reading this and judging my character based upon it. The thought always scared me and I therefore tried only to write what I thought would be meaningful and sound intellegant.

I suppose at a certain point in your journey, you have to let go of that fear. You can't always let the opinions of others guide your actions; sometimes you just have to be yourself.
It takes courage to do so however, and that is something I need to work on.

That's what I learned tonight, while writing about having nothing to write about, sometimes you just have to be yourself and love it.

Blessings

2009-04-11T21:26:00.004-06:00

I had a lot of fun today putting together a bokken sequence with Mike. We got it to flow pretty well and I always have fun working with him. It's a real blessing to be able to share our Kung-Fu with each other. Not many people get that opportunity.

Today I learned that to be able to share what you love with the person you spend your life with is one of the greatest things anyone could ever hope for, especially if they know how to cook!

Doubt and Belief

2009-04-10T23:40:00.003-06:00

Tonight I watched the movie Doubt.
It wasn't bad, not great, but enough to get me thinking.
The story is about a nun at a school who suspects the priest of certain wrong-doings. She has no proof, but is certain that the safety of particular students is at risk.
Even if the priest is innocent, she can't risk the possibility of his guilt.

I think this is true when it comes to a lot of things; sometimes people believe things just because they are afraid they might be true. I think this is especially the case when it comes to religion.
I don't disagree with the nun's diligence, children's safety is paramount in this case, and I don't know if she actually believed it 100%, but it got me thinking. Believing in something because you are afraid it might be true isn't truly believing at all. I think some people kid themselves, thinking fear is belief. It isn't.
In order to truly believe something, you need to have tested it, tried it and weighed against other possibilities; you need to be sure it is the truth, not just a possibility.

Tonight I learned to question my beliefs, to make sure I'm am not simply following fear.
To truly believe something, you need to ask questions.
Belief takes work.

Interuption in my chi

2009-04-09T22:07:00.003-06:00

Not feeling well...
My chi was flowing pretty good in my hands, but my head feels like a block of lead-nothing gets through. Tomorrow I'll play around some more and see if I can help unclog my chi.

Tonight I learned that push-ups are a lot harder when your chi isn't cooperating. This lesson showed me that everything is better when you have your chi involed, punches, etc. It is the oohmph factor and gives you your power.

Sickness...NNNNOOOO!!!!

2009-04-08T22:11:00.004-06:00

I think I'm getting a touch of illness.
When my sister and her roommate visited this past weekend, Emily (the roommate) had bronchitis so I'm a tad concerned.
I'm going to guzzle some grapefruit juice (universal cure for all ills), finish my UBBT workout for the night and hit the sack. A good night's sleep will give me a boost.

Today I learned that illness can sure slow you down and that one should be thankful for one's health. You shouldn't take your health for granted.

Getting things done

2009-04-07T23:34:00.003-06:00

I just spent the last 7 hours completing my final petoleum project: 3 cross sections about 3m long each, an isopach map, some reservoir calculations and some written questions. I'm exhausted and I still have to finish my UBBT workout for the day. I've been working on the project for the past three weeks and had gotten over half of it completed, but I never seemed to have enough time, before tonight, to go through and actually finish it all.

Tonight I learned that you never have enough time to get things done when you want to, you always have enough time to get things done when you have to and I really should try to get things done before crunch time.

Taking chances

2009-04-06T21:31:00.003-06:00

So today I dropped off my letter of intent, the final part of my grad school application.
I poured every hope I had into writing that letter, trying to put across the passion I hold for geology and how badly I want to do this. It was really hard to drop off that letter. I don't really even know why, but it took all I had to do it.
I think, because I put so much of my private dreams into that letter, getting my Phd, teaching, research, etc., it was like giving a piece of myself up for judgement. The possibility that I might not get accepted is the possibility that I am personally not good enough; that's a hard thing to face.
So I roped in a friend to come with me and I placed it down infront of the secretary who looked it over and uttered, "good," dropping it in my file.
Now I sit, waiting for the letter that will say yay or nay.

I'm telling myself that if I don't get accepted, I'll just get a job, start a carrier and move on; but deep down inside, the thought of failing, of not being accepted, of having to sit on the sidelines while other decide my future is driving my out of my mind.

Today I learned it is hard to put your dreams on the line, to put yourself out there for judgement; but if don't, you never have the chance to do anything great.

Friends

2009-04-05T22:10:00.002-06:00

Third day blogging.
Today I met my sister's roommate. She seemed really nice and we all got along really well. They are at firefighting school in Vermillion and will be there for a year. They came by for a visit and to do laundry. I always look forward to my sister's visits. Now that we don't live together, we're actually good friends.

Today I learned good friends are nice to have, but being able to be friends with your family is a true blessing. I'm glad my sister and I are friends.

The Great Blog-off

2009-04-04T22:11:00.002-06:00

Today I challenged my brother to a blog-off. We're each going to write our blog everyday for a month. If one of us fails, we are at the mercy of the other. I hope he loses so I can make him eat a whole bottle of ketchup! I'll take pictures too!

That is the lesson I learned today; competition and teamwork makes goals easier to achieve.

It's on like donkey-kong Ben! Hope you like ketchup:)

2009-04-03T21:52:00.003-06:00

So tonight in class I had a bit of an eye opener. Master Brinker and the others who went to Alabama talked about their experiences and how the trip affected them and it brought to my attention how important journaling is.

For my UBBT requirements, I tried to balance out physical and mental tasks so as to make me a more well rounded black belt. I have school as a big part, getting good grades and getting into grad school, etc. I also have push ups, situps and my form reps as far as physical requirements go.

When I joined the UBBT student team, Master Brinker told me I was required to journal once a week. I hate journalling but I added it to my list of mental requirements. I thought it would be easy...maybe a tad inconvenient, but easy.

I was wrong.

Throughout this whole UBBT, my pushups, my situps, my form...I'm right on track. I've done 32, 799 pushups, 32,519 situps and 270 reps of Kempo since accepting the challenge on September 14; but I haven't journalled very much at all.

It might be because I'm afraid to write something I'll regret, or maybe just because I'm lazy (more likely). Anway, tonight was a kick in the pants so I better get my act together:)

I think if I try to write every day when I do the rest of my Kung-Fu routine, I can make it a habit. I've realized that I've missed out on a lot of opportunities for self examination and memories that journalling can provide and preserve.
I don't want to miss out anymore. Journalling can be a great tool if I decide to use it.

So I'll start by writing again tomorrow. If I try to think of one thing I learned everyday and write it down and think about it, I should think that would make me a better person in the end.

Exams are donezo!

2009-03-02T15:33:00.003-07:00

I wrote my last midterm exams last week and I'm glad they're over. I had four exams last week and two before reading week, so I guess that six in total. Now I'm in that limbo world where your relieved your finished, but worried because you don't know how you did. I'm just hoping I did well enought to keep my average high.
I can't wait until summer, although I know there will be things to stress me out then as well.
After having a week off, it was hard to come back last week and pound out my exams, but I did it.
Here's hoping I did it well:)

Reading Week...yahoo!

2009-02-17T12:35:00.002-07:00

I'm so glad it's reading week.
I get this week off to catch up on work and de-stress a little after the first batch of midterms last week. I can't wait for summer!
I have a lot of stuff to get done but it feels like a vacation. All I need is a lawn chair, a glass of lemonade and I'm almost there:)
Anyway, off to relax some more!

Oh ya, congratulations to the new black belts. You guys n gals did great!

Lame Conference...

2009-02-05T23:19:00.002-07:00

I can't write for long. I'm bogged down in research papers, exams and assignments. On top of that, I was gone yesterday to Calgary at a geology conference. What a long day!
I found it dissapointing.
I took an entire day to go down and "mingle" and listen to talks but it ended up being 6 hrs on the bus, 2 hrs sitting waiting for the thing to start (our bus from the university got there WAY too early!), 4 hours of "mingling" with professionals to network (although there were only about 10 or so and 50 students) and only about 4 hours of actual talks.
I hated "mingling" because it seems so fake and insincere. I enjoyed the talks, but I don't think they were worth it; the only talk I really got something out of was by one of my professors who teaches me three times a week back at the U of A.

Oh well, lesson learned. Don't go to lame conferences sponsered by the union because you'll spend most of your time learning how to "develope professionally."

I'd rather be out in the dirt looking at some rocks...

Just call me four eyes...

2009-01-21T23:13:00.003-07:00

So, I just recieved my first pair of glasses on Monday.
The last 2 years or so, I have noticed my vision becoming less clear while viewing things far away so I got my eyes checked finally a couple of weeks ago.
I've never had to wear glasses before so I'm finding it difficult to adjust. I don't have to wear them, but they make driving and school infinatly easier.
The funny thing is, I find myself having a kind of identity crises of sorts. I always identified myself as someone with reasonable eyesight; someone who didn't need to wear glasses. Now I'm forced to change that idea of myself.
When I was told I needed glasses, it wasn't a shocker. I had suspected for, as I said, for a couple of years; I started having trouble seeing the board at school and I was pretty sure I'd end up wearing them.
But when I finally got them, put them on and saw myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize myself.
It really bothered me.
I didn't look the same.
I've been wearing them for a couple of days now, but I'm still struggling. I know logically it makes sense. I see better with them on and, oddly enough, it doesn't really bother me to wear them; it bothers me to see myself wear them.
Funny how simple things we use to identify ourselves (wear/don't wear glasses) can be so engrained within us.
But, it's time for a change...

New Beginings

2009-01-05T22:03:00.002-07:00

Well I'm sure you've all heard the news...
Kelsey's family restaurant burned down.
I've worked there for almost four years now and I have to say, when I heard the news, I felt pretty happy. I mean it's horrible that it burned down and all, but I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
I guess that's a sign that I wasn't happy in my job.
I already knew I wasn't happy there, but I hadn't realized how much stress it caused me. I didn't realize how much I dreaded going there.
I know lots of people would say I just should have quit but it wasn't that simple.
I knew the job, had some seniority (as much as you can have at a Kelsey's:) and I could work whenever I wanted which was convienient since I'm in school and need flexability. They let me work once a week and were very accomadating.
I stayed at the job because it was convienient and I only had to do it for a short time longer until I graduate.
But I felt such a sense of relief when I heard the news, I felt a bit ashamed. I've never really been big on the New Year's resolutions and what not, but I feel this is a new begining of sorts. This new begining coincides well with the UBBT which has officially just started.
I'm pumped right now.
I'm on track with my UBBT...I hit the ground running on Jan 1st. The 1000 pushups and situps got me going.
I'm filling out my application for grad school and meeting with my possible supervisor this week.

And Kelsey's burned down.
Yipee:)

Christmas kittens

2008-12-29T23:39:00.002-07:00

I hope everyone has had a nice Christmas. I had a nice time. We visited family and what-not. The food was delicious.
On boxing day, Mike, my sister Amanda and I went to the SPCA in Edmonton to adopt some kittens. It was so busy it was a gong show! The place was absolutly packed to the rafters with people waiting to adopt pets. Over 80 pets were adopted that day (according to their counter on the wall) and we ended up waiting almost 4 hours to get out of there and got two of the last kittens. They had to stay open an extra hour just to finish processing everyone.
It was really nice to see so many adoptions going on; the place was pretty much cleared out of animals (cats anyway) by the time we were done. I just hope they all stay adopted and went to good homes.
I have to admit, I expected more people to be returning unwanted Christmas pets than adopting new ones, but I'm glad to say I was way off the mark on that one!

Our kittens are adorable! We got a four month old, sleek black kitten who we named Puck in honour of Shakespeare's " A Midsummer night's Dream." We also got a tiny, two month old, fuzzy grey kitten who we named princess. She is the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Anyway, if any of you are considering getting a pet, I highly suggest going to the SPCA. You pay a fee (about $140 for a kitten), but they have their first shots, you get a free vet visit, their fixed and you get six weeks of pet insurence and one year of liscencing with the city of Edmonton. It's a pretty good deal.

Have a good night everyone, Puck is bugging me for some attention so I gotta go.

The dreaded Christmas cold...

2008-12-22T22:52:00.001-07:00

I have to say I love Christmas. It's my faverite holiday. But it never fails, every year, I get a cold around this time.
I don't know whether it's from the weather or the shopping stress or what, but I always get the dreaded Christmas cold.
Right now I'm hunkered down with a nice mug of hot tea and a box of tissues trying to will myself better.
I'm almost done my workout for the day, so I can go to bed soon and get some rest. Who needs sleep anyway?
At least I'm pretty much done my shopping.

I love giving presents to people, but I hate shopping. I think next year maybe I'll crochet some scarves or something. A gift from the heart sort of thing.

Anyway, that's enough feverish rambling for one night.

Merry Christmas everyone and drive safe!
God bless!

I'm back...

2008-12-15T14:24:00.002-07:00

I just wrote my last finals on Friday. Finally I'm finished!!!
I've been a walking stress case for the past two weeks and I'm so glad it's over. This year, the science department scheduled our geology finals (all five of them) to take place in three days a week after classes ended. It was a nightmare circus of pain.
But now that I'm done, I find that I still feel residual stress. I haven't gotten any marks back yet so I'm in that weird limbo state where your worried about how you did, but you can't do anything about it; your exams are done.
I was looking forward to relaxing and letting loose for the holidays, but I'm finding that I still have a thousand things I want to get done over my brief break. I'm trying to let some things go, because I really need to recharge for next symester, but it's hard.
It's funny how you can trade one set of stresses for another.

"Take a deep breath, relax, enjoy." That's becoming my holiday motto.
Or at least I'm working on making it so:)

It's buckle down time...

2008-11-20T17:28:00.002-07:00

My final exams start next week.
I'm trying to make myself study, but I'm finding it really hard to buckle down. I feel like I'm drained and just don't care.
But that attitude gets me into trouble.
If I don't study hard, I'll do poorly and not accomplish my goals.

I need to force myself to sit down and study boring igneous petrology and structural geology.
I just have to make it to Dec 13 and I'll be golden! I can do it!

I just need to buckle down and work harder...

Goodbye little friend...

2008-11-11T22:14:00.002-07:00

This weekend has been a rather rough one. We had to put our little kitten, Bastet, down. He had a very bad infection and was in alot of pain. He was one of the best kittens I ever owned; he was smart, clever, had a sense of humor and was mischevious and active. I'll miss my little friend, but it was for the best.

When we took him to the vet Friday night, the vet gave us a choice: we good keep giving him medicine (he'd been fighting the infection on and off for a couple of weeks) and keep trying to cure him, or we could end his suffering and put him down. As hard as it was, we decided to set him free. Is it fair to keep a suffering animal around because you'll miss it when it goes? I don't think so. But it's bitter sweet. He's at peace now, but I miss him alot.

So here's to you little guy...
I know your in kitty heaven raising heck:)

A little bit goes a long way...

2008-11-02T22:50:00.002-07:00

I had as a requirement to complete 17334 push ups and situps by October 31. I'm happy to say that as of October 31, I had completed 19,317 push ups and 18,904 situps.
A while back, I had decided that I could do 10 more reps every night (10 p.u. or s.u. is quite doable) and those extra 10 really added up. I got almost 2000 extra reps in. That's the secret. Always do a little extra. You can always do a couple more. They add up!

I've decided to keep going. It would be such a waste to stop now. I've come so far, I want to keep going. So as of tonight my counts are : 19,645 p.u. and 19,230 s.u.

Who know, maybe I'll have 3,352,160 reps done by the time I'm 80:)

Arg! The dreaded injury and probably poor decisions

2008-10-26T14:14:00.003-06:00

Since July 4th of this year, I have been doing push ups and sit ups everyday. My origional goal was to do 150 of each and I started out doing them (push ups) in sets of 11 because I wasn't that strong. Over time I increased my reps to 21, 31 and finally 41. I have been doing over 160 pu and su everyday for the past 2 months or so. I was even planning on increasing my reps again to 51 on Monday.

Everything was going according to plan. Everything was going just fine until this Friday when my dreaded reaccuring injury showed up and reared it's ugly head - my back.

Now for those of you who don't know, I have a back injury. I had surgery years ago and they attached two steel rods to my spine. It has healed but still causes me problems on occasion.

One such occasion was this Friday.

Now normally I just hit the painkillers and push through it for the week or so until it gets better and I'm on my way. This time however, I have my daily quota of push ups and sit ups to fill. Friday night and Saturday night I managed to get them done, but I've been paying for it today.

And so the delemma: Do I take a day or two off and heal. Or do I push through and get 'er done?

It was such a struggle to get to where I am now with my push ups and sit ups, I'm scared to back off and risk back-sliding. I've been crawling forward ever so slowly for the past four months so the thought of having to gain back ground upsets me.

But then the logical part of me chimes in with, "So you miss a couple of days, so what? It's not going to make a difference really."

I can't stop doing them. I won't stop doing them. I've been doing them everyday for four months, during exams, weddings, funerals, bad days, good days, all days. If I miss a couple of days for this, what's to stop me from missing a couple days when I'm tired from tests, or busy with work or just don't feel like it.

So I have to keep doing them; I'm going to keep doing them.
I just have to go about it differently.

Instead of doing them (the sets) all at once and taxing my injury, I can do the sets farther apart. Maybe I can do crunchies instead of situps or smaller sets altogether. I just need to go easy and go often.

I think that'll work. I hope that'll work.

So much for probably poor decisions:)
Stupid injuries! Arg!

Hell Week

2008-10-22T22:01:00.005-06:00

I'm just about finished my "hell week" at the U of A. Tomorrow I write my last midterm (of 6 this week) for the term. Thank goodness!!!
I'm so burnt out I can't even pretend to study anymore.
I have to say, before attending the geology program at the Uof A, I had not experienced a panic attack or had any problems dealing with exams, but now I can say I am a veteran:)
Dealing with hard core stress is something that I and my friends at school have had to learn to deal with. It can be hard though.
My friend called me this weekend while we were cramming for two major exams on Monday to tell me she was so stressed out she had thrown up six times that day. Not good.
I myself almost broke down in tears Sunday night because I was so worried about my exams.
I just keep telling myself that it'll be ok if I don't get that A I wanted, if I don't get accepted to graduate school, if I fall flat on my academic face and ruin everything, it'll be ok.

Monday was the a bad day for me. I had to write my Igneous Petrology exam (a class about igneous (volcanic) minerals) and my Petrogenesis (a class about diamonds) exam within a half hour of each other. My Petro exam was worth 25% of my final mark so I was worried. On top of that, when I woke up that morning, my cat's face had swollen up and I needed to call my sister to take him to the vet.
So after writing my exams, I rushed to the vet to see my cat. Three hours later, I left having gotten in an argument with the vet, been suckered out of $200 and my cat having healed on his own in his cat crate (he seems to be fine now thank goodness).
Worst day ever...

But after all that, my sister and brother brought me pizza and some movies and we all had a nice night. My stress started to melt away and I realized that in the grand scheme of things, tests aren't worth crying over or puking for; they're just tests.

But I have to say, it's hard finding that balance between trying to do your best at something, and letting that take away from the quality of your life. What amount of sacrifice is school worth? How highly should I value it? Right now, I'm acting like it's the most important thing in my world. Is it?

Thanks!

2008-10-12T22:06:00.002-06:00

In honour of thanksgiving, I would like to post a few things that I am thankful for.

Thanks God for family,
for good times, good laughs and good food,
Thanks also for my car,
without which I wouldn't get far!
Thanks for my health, my wealth and my happiness,
I have everything I need to lead a good life and be a good person,
Thanks God for looking out for me!

P.S. Thanks for Kung-Fu too:)

Tai Chi Action Plan...Update

2008-10-05T21:56:00.002-06:00

So awhile back I posted about my tai chi.
More correctly I posted about my lack of tai chi and the need to improve.

So far, my action plan has been going well.
I've been practicing it (the tai chi long form) almost everyday and I'm half way through part 4. I only have half of part 4 left to learn and I'm golden!

Now that I'm experiencing some success, I'm going to try and impliment this plan with other aspects of my training (other forms, etc). I've found the biggest boost this plan has given me is focus. I'm remembering to practice and I'm even looking forward to practicing my tai chi.

My action plan has also had an unforseen side effect...I'm starting to like doing tai chi. Who would have thought?:)

Don't join the military...join Tim Horton's!

2008-09-21T23:18:00.003-06:00

My sister arrived back from Afghanistan tonight. For those of you unawares, she was serving a 6 month military term over there. For those of you wanting to see her now that she's back, we're planning on organising a get together for everyone.

After picking her up from the airport, we all went out for dinner to have a chance to talk and grab some grub.
She told us stories of the desert - the sand, the sand mites, the spiders, the locals, etc, but one in particular got me.
We had asked her if she had gone to the Tim Horton's on the main base. She said she had and then preceded to tell us an interesting tidbit about said establishment.

She said that those working at the Tims recieve the same medal she does for her stint of service in Afghanistan and they leave with about 10,000 more dollars than her.
I was shocked.
Now I know that those who go over there to serve coffee are doing a good thing, but I don't consider them to be doing as an important or dangerous job as our military personelle and I definatly do not think they should be getting paid more.
In other words, our government needs to step it up.
For that to happen, we all need to step it up and let the government know that we think our military is important.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should follow the American's lead and make our military the top priority; I'm saying we should at least invest enough so that our guys are appropriatly compensated.
Otherwise they might all quite and go work for Tim Horton's.

Irresponsible people SHOULDN'T OWN PETS!!!!

2008-09-14T21:27:00.003-06:00

I want to begin my entry tonight by saying what a wonderful job everyone did today for Travis' celebration. It was very touching and I think Travis would have enjoyed it.

On another note...
I want to talk a bit about responsibility.

On Saturday, I had to take little Bastet into the vet to get his shots and his ears cleaned. I was in the examination room behind the front desk waiting while my kitty got tortured in the back. While I was seperated from the front by a door, I could still here conversation going on out front.
I was sitting, waiting and minding my own business when I heard someone enter the clinic.

"I have a question for you guys," a 20-something male voice began as the secretaries halted their chatter.
"I've got this cat and I need to get rid of it or I'm going to be evicted today. Do you guys take cats? I was going to just leave it in someone's yard, but I thought you guys might want it."
The secretaries, and myself (still in the other room) were appalled.
" You can't just LEAVE a cat in someone's yard!" the one secretary exclaimed, "And no, we do not except strays. I can give you the number to (insert some stray animal saving society here) and you can see if they'll take them, but I can't gaurentee they will. You CAN'T JUST LEAVE IT though!"
At this point, my heart strings were strumming and I really wanted to open the door and take the cat myself. But logic stepped in and I remembered that we're only allowed one pet at the place we rent and it would be irresponsible to take a pet I could't provide a home for.

The guy thanked the ladies (a fake, almost hostile response to being rejected) and left. I had missed my chance at changing anything.

Now this guy was a dirt bag. He was acting irresponsibly, selfishly and without compassion. But what did I do to solve the problem? Nothing.

I think I made the wrong right decision.

Now I'm not saying I should have accepted the cat, but I could have talked to him and given my number in case the stray foundation didn't work out. I could have called around and helped find a home for the cat. I could have listened to the screams coming from inside my soul and done something, anything to asure that the animal would be looked out for.

But would me having whisked the cat away have taught Mr. Dirtbag anything about responsibility? Probably not. But I don't think doing nothing helped either.

I like to think that the stray foundation accepted the cat and found it a loving home; this thought helps me sleep at night.
But I'm still left with the dilemma of what I should have done.

In all honesty, I refused to act not because of some higher hope that Mr. Ratguts would learn to deal with his own responsibilities but because I was afraid.
I was afraid of what my husband would say if I brought home a cat, what the guy would say if I had given him a piece of my mind, what the ladies would have thought of me if I had stepped out of the room and joined in the conversation; I was afraid to get involved.

In the end, although I had wanted to take the cat, I know I couldn't have kept it. I just wish I had done something to change things.
Sometimes it's hard to do the responsible thing.
Sometimes it's even harder to know what the responsible/ right thing is.

P.S. To all you jerkwads out there who think it would be cool to have a pet, make sure you can keep it for the long haul!

2008-09-07T21:11:00.002-06:00

I've been having a hard time dealing with the tragedy of Mr. Panasiuk's death. Although I can't say I had the priviledge of being a good friend of his, I had the pleasure of instructing him during the lion dance classes.
I have to say, he was the ideal student in every way. I always looked forward to teaching him. He was like a sponge, always eager to soak up whatever knowledge was offered and he always did it with a grin.

One of my requirements for second degree black belt was to write an assignment on the five people who had most influenced my training.

He was one of my five.

To me he represented the irrepressible spirit of Kung-Fu. He never complained, never backed down; he gave his all in everything that he did. His enthusiasm and joy when it came to Kung-Fu awed me. I wanted to be like him and I aspire to be as driven as he was.

So I plan to work harder in the hopes that I can do his memory proud.

We'll miss you Travis.

2008-08-31T23:07:00.003-06:00

Today is the day I had set in my training goals to review my progress and have Master Brinker look over my training journal.

As I reflect on the last 2 months (I began on July 1st), I am confronted with the fact that I am not where I had hoped I would be. Granted, I have had successes, but one goal in particular is bothering me; tai chi.

I had set quite a few goals for myself to have completed by October 31. These goals included 150 push ups a day, 150 sit ups a day, learn the spear form, perfect my fan form and learn the tai chi long form. So far I have kept up my push ups and sit ups ( I do 160 of each now), I have learned the spear form and have been pushing forward.

But, the tai chi form is still on my to-do list.

Tai chi has never been my favorite part of Kung-Fu; I've never really liked it. However, I know it is good for me. The benifits to one's flow, centering, balance, etc. are tremendous and I should be all over it, but I'm not.

So, as I sit here reflecting, I'm trying to come up with a good excuse as to why I've been avoiding it. Truth be told though, I have only myself to really answer to when it comes to achieving my goals, so why bother trying to find excuses anyway?
I need to stop focusing on the problem (Oh my gosh I haven't learned it yet! I've been lazy and procrastinating and how the heck am I going to learn all this?!?) and focus on the solution (you can do this...think!).

Here it goes:

Tai chi action plan

step 1: Define the goal
I want to be able to make it through the entire tai chi long form without stopping or getting help. I will utalize the following resources: fellow black belts to learn from and the video to fine tune.

step 2: Motivation
I will have to stay motivated and focused if I want to succeed.
options: start a tai chi log
train with a buddy
reward myself when I succeed

choice: I will keep a tai chi log of my progress and will reward myself when I have learned it. The reward is yet to be decided.

step 3: Practice
I need to actually buckle down and practice this if I'm going to succeed.
options: practice once a week
practice once a day

choice: practice once a day. I'll do it once a day at least.

step 4: Deadline
I want to have this completed ultimatly by October 31.

This action plan takes effect as of tomorrow, September 1st.

There, a solution has been created, now I just need to follow through with it.

2008-08-24T19:32:00.002-06:00

Well, my cat successfully published 3 blog posts this evening; what a genius.

For the last couple of months I've been trying to dedicate more time and effort to my training. I've been struggling with achieving my goals and, with another school year fast approaching, tonight I found myself worrying about my training when school begins, with exams, projects and what not also on my plate.

But then Master Brinker's voice popped up in my head and said, "What are you talking about, no time for Kung-Fu? School work is Kung-Fu!"

I am guilty of forgetting this. Kung-Fu is in everything I do, if I look for it. If school work is what will be occupying the majority of my time, then bi-golly I'm going to do my homework like a Kempo Kung-Fu black belt would. I'm going to excersise that brain of mine until it hurts and do the best I possibly can.

All I can do is try my hardest and that's what I'm going to do.

2008-08-24T19:13:00.002-06:00

2008-08-24T19:13:00.001-06:00

2008-08-24T19:13:00.000-06:00

2008-08-17T22:38:00.004-06:00

We got a kitten just over a week ago and I've already learned alot from him.

He's an orange tabby and we named him Bastet (after the Egyptian godess of cats). He's very playful and quite smart and he has become the joy of our life.

He has brought to life for me what Master Brinker has been talking about living in the moment. Every second he is discovering new things, playing or just being. He never spends an afternoon watching t.v. or reading trashy magazines. Every day is full of adventure and play, rejuvinating naps and great food and he makes use of every moment.

I've been trying to learn more about living in the moment from little Bastet and tonight I learned a special lesson.

There was a thunder storm tonight and we had the back door open to the screen to let the air in. I had walked away to go back to my t.v. show but I caught Bastet going to investigate. I stood and watched as he stood at the screen watching the lightning and trying to catch the stray drops that landed at his feet. It was so adorable watching him wrinkle his nose as droplets hit him. I walked over and stood with him, t.v. show forgotten, and together we watched the storm. It was quite a light show and I'm glad I didn't miss it.

I have little Bastet to thank for that. Tonight he taught me to keep my eyes open and to see the wonders of the world around me. He's teaching me to live in the moment and I'm so grateful we got him..

What a good little cat! ( He came from Sifu Freitag, breeder of Kung-Fu kitties, and she still has one kitten left I'm pretty sure:)

Blogging again...

2008-08-10T15:22:00.003-06:00

I read in the paper today (Edmonton Sun) about the funeral for that boy who was murdered on the grayhound bus.
The story wasn't about how tragic the situation was or how touching the funeral had been. It was about a group of protestors who had threatened to show up and picket the funeral. The group was (from what I got from the story) from a Baptist church in Kansis, USA. They were going to picket the funeral because they believed that the murder was God's punishment for Canada's liberal views on issues like gay marriage.

I have to say, I was shocked and aghast. All I could think of was how insensitive and inappropriate that protest would have been and I was angered by the idea.

Fortunatly, the protest did not occur, although hurt had already been caused by the threat.

After I got over my disgust, I got to thinking and two issues came to my mind: Method and Motivation

The group's methods were obviously not very effective.What good would that protest have served the group's message? Their goal is to raise awareness and promote their message, but this protest has brought them nothing but bad press and hurt alot of people.

Everyone has an opinion or message or view they believe is right and often people try to persuade others. But you have to think about how you're going to persuade people. You don't do it by offending people or upsetting them. You do it by convincing them that they will benefit from that viewpoint. You convince people by your own happiness and success. When people see you living the good life, they want the same and are therefore willing to listen to your advice or suggestion. You must woo them with your words and actions.

Their lack of empathy also had me questioning their motives. When we protest something or try to raise awareness about a cause, we must remember our ultimate goal: to make the world a better place for everyone, not just ourselves. It should be an act of love for the human race, not an act of hatred. So a situation like this causes one to think, are they promoting this message to better the lives of others, or to legitimize their own point of view?

It comes down to selflessness verses selfishness. Someone acting selflessly will try to help others lead a better life and isn't afraid of standing up for what they believe in because they know it is right and good. Someone acting selfishly acts out of a lack of confidence in their own beliefs and a need to find validation; the aren't trying to help others, they're trying to feel good about themselves.

So I'm going to try to keep this in mind as I try to raise awareness for issues I find important. I need the right Methods and the right Motivations.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family of that poor boy. What a tragedy.

A thought...

2008-05-27T17:20:00.002-06:00

A memory from this past school year has been on my mind of late and I thought I should share it. It is a lesson one of my professors taught me about priorities.
The class I was taking was called Natural Resources and the Environment. We learned about regulations, case studies, environmental history and such. I have to say it wasn't my favorite class; I didn't like it at all, but it was a requirement of my program and so there I sat three times a week in a giant lecture hall of at least 100 people listening to this guy try and teach us about the environmental movement.
He was pretty good at keeping our attention usually. He did things like show video clips or bribe us with timbits. One day though, he particularly got me.
He got on the subject of priorities, what we all value and count as important. He put up a list on the power-point and told us to put everything in order from what we thought was the most important to the least important. Here's the list to the best of my memory:

education
your left arm
your television
the lives of two African children
your computer
nice clothes
health
a big house
new car

So we each took a sheet of paper and began to order the list (give it a try yourself right now).
After about five minutes, he told us to stop and share what we had put down. Being idealist university students, we all put down the Africans as number one or two, followed closely by education, health, etc. We all put "material goods" at the bottem of our list because we, as enlightened educated individuals, knew that these things just weigh us down.
Our professor nodded and smiled at us as we congratulated ourselves on picking out what was obviously the most important in the list. Then he told us a story.
He has spent quite a few summers in Africa doing his research. He was doing alot of work with very poor communities, studying how they live and he told us that every summer he goes there, he meets alot of children. While he is there, he does what he can to help out, but every summer he returns, many of the children he met the previous summer have died of curable ailements. They die of water born diseases or malnutrition or other things.
The sad thing is, he continued, is that if he just sold his big screen t.v. he could have saved at least two more African kids in that village by buying them medicine and food. But, he said, he really, really likes his big screen t.v.
So he made us look at our lists again and said, be honest with yourself, put your tv, your education, your material things above the Africans because that is the reality.
He told us to continue to watch our t.vs or play on our computers, as he does, but don't kid ourselves about our priorities.
His point wasn't to guilt us into selling all of our stuff, because he said it's a hard thing to do; his point was merely to show us how it is our actions and lifestyles that reflect our true values, not what we like to tell ourselves to make ourselves feel good.

I've been thinking about this and trying to figure out what my real values are and how I can start reflecting them through my actions.

Just a thought...

Have you hugged your inner ninja today?

2008-02-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm in university right now studying geology. And it was while standing bent over a 5ft long cross section, correlation well logs in my stratigraphy lab, that I became reaquainted with my little inner ninja.

Now I believe that everyone has a little inner ninja, at least everyone that trains in the martial arts. He's the voice you hear whispering in the back of your head, "you should practice today," or "you can do one more push up!" He's also the one who catches the glass that is knocked off the table.

I must admit, lately, being back in school, my little ninja and I have fallen out of touch. A sad state of affairs, I know.

But while hunched over the seemingly endless well logs, trying to find the picks for the formations of the western canadian sedimentary basin, one of my lab partners asked me what I do in my spare time.

I said Kung-Fu.

And that's when my little inner ninja stirred inside me.

I could feel the exhileration of it coarsing through my viens as I told them about my "hobby". Memories of trials and tribulations, of taking a hit and giving one. The excitement of it took my breath away.

Sometimes, when your around martial artists for alot of your time, you forget how special Kung-Fu really is. It has made my life what it is and I am so grateful.

It was a great reminder of this when my lab partners said "Wow! That's so cool!"

It's great to be back in touch with my inner ninja. I missed the little guy and I was taking him for granted.

So...have you hugged your inner ninja today?

The "Bucket List"

2008-01-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

Imagine yourself sitting on your sofa, enjoying a nice cup of tea and watching some television when all of a sudden, you see the secret to your life's success splashed across the screen in the form of a commercial.

The offending commercial I speak of is for the movie, "The Bucket List".
The commercial says, for anyone who hasn't heard of it, that "The Bucket List" is a movie about two old men who decide to make a list of things they want to so before they die; then they go do them.

So, since the "cat's out of the bag", I guess I'd better explain.

One of the secrets I attribute to my success in life is having kept a "Life's to do List". This is a list of things I have wanted to do during my life.
Now I know this doesn't seem like a life altering, problem solving solution to all of life's problems. But just hear me out.

It's not the list itself that has made my life better. I mean it does help to keep me focused and remind me of my goals, but that's not the point. It's the stuff I get to check off of the list that really makes the difference.

It gives me confidence.

And confidence is one of the keys to being successful.

One of the most satisfying things I've ever done is put a check beside "Math 115". That class was nothing but a nightmare for me and I get alot of joy from seeing that little check mark beside it. I look at that when I need a confidence boost.
When I look at that little check mark, I remember all of the sweat, all of the tears of frustration and all of the work that I put into that class; and I remember how I passed it. That little check mark tells me that the things I'm trying to do now are a peice of cake. It makes me realize that I can do anything if I work hard enough at it.

That little check mark gives me confidence.

I've posted my list from my journal on the side to remind me of my new goals and keep me focused. I also posted it so I can look at it when I need a boost.

I think everyone should take the time to sit down and write down everything they want or think they want to do. Just make sure you include things you've already done so that you'll have the confidence to tackle the rest of your list. Nothing is to far-fetched or too impossible, you just have to buckle down and get it done.

Take a little time and invest in yourself. Fill your own "Bucket List". It's worth it!

Promises to myself

2008-01-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make.

I have to admit, this is rather difficult. My fingers are straining at the keys. My mind is screaming NO! Don't tell them! and the stark white emptiness of the computer screen seems to be telling me to run away.
I'm closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and...

I'm not in shape.
There, it's out. That horrible little sentence is free from my mind to haunt me now from the world of the written.
Granted, I wouldn't say I'm an invalid. But for my own personal standards, I am not where I would like to be physically.
I have always approached excercise as a "do when you feel" sort of thing. I've never really been able to stick to a set routine.
But no more!
I'm going to grab that horrible little sentence by the horns and do something about it!

The problem has been identified, now for the solution.

One thing about writing for the public (i.e. posting on the internet) is that you can't take it back. There is a record of your thoughts that millions of eyes (depending on popularity) can see and remember.
This blog holds me acountable. It makes me think before I write and if I don't, it teaches me a lesson in humility.
That being said, I am going to use this to set some goals for myself.

If I say I will do a thousand push-ups a day to my friend and then don't, oh well. My friend most likely will still talk to me if I don't do it and I can go on watching T.V without any real consequences, immediate consequences anyway.
If I tell my Mom I'm going to climb Mount Everst next Sunday, she will have her doubts but smile. When I fail to complete the monumentous task, she will still meet me for our weekly coffee.
If I write it down, however, if I put it into words and hit the "Publish Post" button, that's it, I'd better do it.

So, without anymore adu...my goals for this week:

1. 10 knuckle push ups everyday when I wake up. As soon as my feet touch the floor.

Start one step at a time I always say...

Another day, another dollar...right?

2008-01-19T23:29:00.000-07:00

Picture this:

It's a cold, dark evening. I'm sitting at the computer, trying to write something meaningful and life altering that will gain me the admiration of my peers.
It's not working.
Try as I might, all I can think of is my night at work. Waitressing is not the most glamorous of professions and I have to admit, I hate going to work. Hours on your feet rushing around, serving nice people, mean people, beautiful people, smelly people and the people with that really annoying nasally voice that just makes you want to scream....
Talking, chatting, squabbling, complaining, crying; noise...so much noise. By the end of the night your brain, ears, eyes and feet are sore and your tired of the human race and just want to sleep.
All of this unpleasantness for $7 an hour.
Why go through this same routine every week? Why drag my feet and tie down my spirit? Why oh why must I smile at that lady that comes in every week to complain about our soup?
I ask myself these questions and more on my drives home as I debate, after every shift, whether or not to become a homeless hippie that eats grass and doesn't have to work any more.
The answer I invariably come to is that I need the money. I want the money. Money makes me feel good because it gets me stuff; and everybody likes stuff....right?
More money means bigger stuff, more stuff, shinier stuff and better stuff. And stuff means happiness. At least that's what my good friend the T.V tells me all the time. Nothing like the advice of a good friend to illuminate the path to fulfillment.
Why do I go to this horrible job? To make money to pay for university to get a better job to get more money to get more STUFF.
That's just depressing.

But wait just a minute. That can't be all there is to life. Granted, I like having a warm place to live and the money does help with that. But is that all? Is all I get for those 8 hours of my life $56 (before tax)?
No.
I like to think that, as I'm smiling at the elderly lady that comes in every week and complains about the same annoying things, I'm not just making that $7 an hour, I'm learning a skill.
She's teaching me patience.
Washing dishes teaches me humility. Service teaches me empathy. Seeing that couple fight makes me grateful for my family life. I'm not just getting more money, the money is almost a bonus. I'm getting hard core spiritual betterment. Every miserable moment working makes me a better person.
I guess that makes it all worth it.
Now I fell better.
Even if work does suck:)